Apóstatas

lunes, febrero 20, 2006

Juegos de niños. Hoy: "Instrucciones para jugar al Amigo Invisible".

En algunos trabajos hay tanta pero tanta onda que hacia fin de año se juega al "Amigo Invisible" durante esa época agradable pre-Fiestas y pre-Vacaciones y pre-Aguinaldo.

Muchos se anotan en el juego, pero pocos saben jugarlo. ¿En qué consiste? Muy simple: debes ser el "amigo invisible" de alguien de tu trabajo, dejándole pistas para que te descubra.

Y aunque parezca muy divertido, el juego tiene sus bemoles. La primera situación estresante del juego es el sorteo mismo. Es el momento de "suerte o verdad", y casi casi me animo a decir que allí radica el éxito del juego, o su estrepitoso fracaso (al menos para uno). Porque una cosa es que te toque un destinatario con onda, alguien con quien tenés buena relación, o una chica linda a la que querés hacerle un approach y putt pero no hay oportunidad (vos trabajás en Administración y ella es Directora de Arte, ponéle. Cualquier coincidencia con la realidad es adrede). Y otra cosa es que te toque la telefonista, que encima es hermana de la gorda insoportable de Recursos Humanos. O que te toque un jefe tuyo con poca onda, o un cadete nuevito que no tiene ni idea de la vida ni dónde queda Av. Corrientes...

Así que en el sorteo pasa por tu oficina/box/escritorio el organizador del juego, portando dos bolsas con papelitos, y en cada papelito, un nombre de participante. A veces hay suerte y la distribución de sexos en tu lugar de trabajo es casi 50-50 y te toca obligatoriamente alguien del sexo contrario.
Sacás un papelito de la bolsa que contiene los nombres de las participantes femeninas (en mi caso). Y esta será la persona a la que debas dejarle cartas, misivas, paquetes, mensajes telefónicos, telegramas cantados, faxes, teletipos, en fin, todo lo que se te ocurra para darle pistas sobre tu identidad, siempre teniendo cuidado de no revelar mucho así no te descubre del todo y se acaba el juego.

A su vez, otra persona sacará tu nombre de una de las bolsas, y será quien te escriba a vos como "amigo invisible" y será tu tarea tratar de descubrirlo.
En resumen: vos serás el "amigo invisible" de alguien, y tendrás un "amigo invisible".

Por lo general, se habilita un "buzón" donde dejar las cartas y regalos. Lo de "buzón" es un eufemismo para "caja de cartón sin uso, con el sólo fin de contener las cartas y regalos afines al juego".

Sin embargo, siempre hay apoliyados que no saben cómo participar ni dónde está el bendito buzón. Para ellos, las siguientes "Instrucciones":

(a) escribir una carta a la persona que nos tocó ser su "Amigo Invisible" (preferentemente en font Arial 14, no vaya a ser que un despierto amigo le identifique su horrible letra cursiva y se deschave pronto el misterio);

(b) levantar el tujes de la silla;

(c) apropincuarse hasta la sala o lugar donde haya sido depositado el mencionado buzón, y dejar la susodicha carta (en font Arial 14) para el amigo que nos ha tocado en suerte. No olvidar escribir el nombre del destinatario de nuestra carta (por ejemplo: "Para Vero, de su amigo invisible"). IMPORTANTE: no caer en "Para el pelado pelotudo de Sistemas" u ofensas similares, si nos tocó una persona que no es de nuestro agrado.

Opcional (d) un regalito armado o comprado (para los menos hábiles en Trabajos Manuales). Sugerencias: comestibles (pastillas Punch, chupetines Topolino, Corazoncitos Dorins, chotolatines Jack, etc.) o bebestibles (Tab, Mountain Dew, Naranjús, etc). u otra cosa (ej. revista H, La Mano, Cinemanía, Paparazzi, en fin, todas las de lectura requerida y recomendada por el Ministerio de Cultura de nuestra bendita Nación).

Al recibir una nota y/o regalo del Amigo Invisible, se recomienda dejar nota (o regalo si se quiere devolver la gentileza, o incentivar los mismos) dirigida al mismo, con este encabezado: "para el amigo invisible de PFH", por ejemplo, expresando nuestra satisfacción por la carta y regalo recibido, o con un reclamo (ej. "escribí más claro que no entiendo un catzo"; o "me extraña araña que no sepas que odio la Paso de los Toros Tónica").

La idea es tener una fluida correspondencia con el Amigo invisible, recibiendo sus cartas y eventuales dádivas, y respondiendo a dichas misivas. Siempre tratando de adivinar quién es el invisible que nos envía las misivas y adjuntos.

Si tuviste suerte que te tocó alguien más o menos conocido, todo bien, porque sabrás qué tipo de cosas le agradan y no necesitarás más ayuda que la de tu ingenio. Pero a veces te toca alguien completamente desconocido, ya sea un empleado nuevo del que ni siquiera su jefe sabe el nombre, o el típico mudito de oficina que nunca habla ni almuerza con uno ni va a las fiestas. Así que por más que trates de preguntar a sus colegas por los gustos del mudito, no sacarás nada y deberás improvisar o caer en el famoso "prueba y error".
Eso sí, te recomiendo que averigües una mínima información de la persona, porque puede ser interpretado como un "homicidio culposo en grado de tentativa" que le dejes de regalo una docena de chupetines "Pico Dulce" a una persona diabética. (Y si lo menciono, es porque sucedió).

Con estas idas y vueltas de regalos y mensajes se va desarrollando el juego bajo un clima amistoso. Salvo que tu amigo invisible sea un ortiva terrible que no se molesta en dejarte mensaje alguno (¡mucho menos un regalo!) y seas uno de los pocos participantes que cumple con su rol de adular a su amigo destinatario pero que recibe cero atención de su Amigo Invisible.

En estos casos, la frustración es tremenda y uno anda yirando por la oficina con cara de malco, haciéndo preguntas a todos y de este tenor: "¿a vos quién te tocó de destinatario?"; "¿quién sospechás que es tu Amigo Invisible?"; "¿sabés a quién le tocó Marina?"; "¿y el de rulos de Nuevos Negocios a quién le manda?"; etc. etc.
Todo con el único fin de crear un cuadro sinóptico con tablas dinámicas de Excel en la que se puedan ver a un vistazo todas las parejas confirmadas y las sospechadas y así identificar a SU desganado Amigo Invisible.
Esto, claro está, es una pérdida notable de horas de trabajo.

Al final del plazo estipulado por los organizadores del evento (es importante poner una fecha límite para este carnaval, no sea que dure dos, tres años y haya rotado el 71% del personal y nos hayamos quedado huérfanos de destinatario o de amigo invisible) se hará intercambio de regalos ya de mayor importancia (digamos, en vez de un alfajor Capitán del Espacio, media docena de Havana de dulce de leche; o cosas similares, se entiende la idea). Previa entrega de estos regalos finales, cada persona deberá tratar de adivinar quién ha sido su Amigo Invisible. Es un momento óptimo para inmortalizar en fotos, filmaciones, cámaras ocultas, ya que se agradece efusivamente a los amigos invisibles que se han portado como duques, y se recrimina con tono de voz cercano al grito histérico al amigo que no ha movido un sólo músculo por participar del juego.

He dicho.

296 Decime:

  • Excelente descripción!!! Ya mismo empiezo a jugar... pero...con quien...eh!!! Amigos...!!! Amigos... No estan mas...se hicieron invisibles...
    En fin...me quedare estudiando cada uno de los items...hasta que alguno se digne a volverse visible..
    Como consuelo me queda...que como vivo en Quilmes... Consigo Capitan del Espacio... en cualquier kiosco del barrio...

    El Blog...es como los buenos vinos...para disfrutar lentamente...saboriarlo...y compartirlo.... Un Abrazo Compañero!

    By Anonymous CUBA, a las martes, febrero 21, 2006 1:19:00 a. m.  

  • Excelente, deberian entregar esta nota antes de empezar el juego, es un embole cuando la gente se anota y no se compromete ¿para que se anotan?

    By Anonymous Canadian alligator, a las martes, febrero 21, 2006 9:24:00 a. m.  

  • Cuba, a Ud. se le complica porque si bien podría jugar al Amigo Invisible, el buzón debería estar ubicado en un lugar equidistante a los domicilios de sus amigos. Digamos, en Manaus (Brasil).

    Canadian Alligator: en una de esas registro la nota en Propiedad Intelectual, imprimo algunas copias, y armo una PyME cuyo objeto sea sólamente brindar el servicio de asesoría y organización de "Juego del Amigo Invisible para Empresas".
    Y ya que estamos, se le podría adjuntar un servicio de venta de regalos para el juego, desde alfajores hasta autos Mini Cooper (uno nunca sabe si un gerente no juega con una secretaria apetecible y termina haciéndole una propuesta indecente y para eso, qué mejor que regalar un auto. Si no, casi que no le daría bola).

    By Blogger PFH, a las martes, febrero 21, 2006 12:46:00 p. m.  

  • ...Yo también leí el ultimo libro de dolina y me gustó..., aunque no tanto como "crónicas".
    Del segundo, encuentro que destaca la historia del relator de futbol de partidos imaginarios, hilarious.

    Mi ultimo amigo invisible fue a nivel político-familiar y para navidad de visitante...y me toco MI SUEGRO.
    Recibí un destornilador de puntas de intercambio bastante cool, de mi cuñado invisible.
    Yo tuve que desprenderme de un libro de Galeano que me habia comprado para leer en mis vacaciones... eleccion bastante acertada, para un profesor de universidad y activista ambientalista.

    By Anonymous 5 dollar shake, a las miércoles, febrero 22, 2006 12:47:00 p. m.  

  • Es cierto, hay una variante del juego del "Amigo Invisible" y es la del "Papá Noel Invisible".
    En Navidad, en vez de regalarse todos contra todos, se hace un sólo regalo a una sóla persona. Y supuestamente se sortea a ver quién te toca.

    By Blogger PFH, a las miércoles, febrero 22, 2006 12:57:00 p. m.  

  • Hola muy buen juego, yo empiezo a juagar el lunes en el profesorado donde estudio ya que se nos termina el cuatrimestre y es una epoca feliz!!!
    espero ke salga bien y no se ortiven!

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    By Anonymous Anónimo, a las sábado, junio 30, 2007 6:36:00 p. m.  

  • en mi ofi tambien estamos jugando, me toco un a.i. de merda, encima me manda una cartita diciendome que no queria jugar, le mande una nota pidiendole que pusiera un poco mas de onda. yo a mi sorprendida le estoy mandando notitas y regalitos, si esto sigue asi no gasto mas un mango!!! un bajon.

    By Blogger Lucia, a las miércoles, julio 16, 2008 8:29:00 p. m.  

  • MUY LINDO JUEGO,YA EMPIEZO A JUGARLO,BUENO,MUCHAS GRACIAS POR LAS INSTRUCCIONES,YA LE EXPLICO A TODOS LAS INSTRUCCIONES Y JUGAMOS,BESOS,CHAU

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